Reflections as I Meditate……

 

They desired, YOU blessed, I am conceived

I cozily curl, secure and warmly cocooned in her womb

I kick, I turn, I toss and tumble, traumatizing her

Yet she bears me with care and love, an entire forty weeks

As compassionate hands ensure my safe passage into the planet

I finally emerge, much to their delight, wailing my head out.

With love, most undemanding, Mata-Pita - my first Gurus,

These selfless souls nurture and cherish me with care beyond compare

They nourish me with abundance, to good health and vigour

They are not alone, in contributing to my physical and mental wellbeing.

How can I ignore those unknown, unseen tillers and farmers

Without whose labours, I, like all others akin to me, would starve, and even perish!

Do I not owe my comfortable and tranquil sleep,

Yet to those nameless beings who crafted the bed on which I repose?

O Almighty, when I worship your Blemishless, Divine and Protective Padukas

How can I fail to acknowledge with gratitude, those faceless shoemakers

Who make possible with ease, my walks on rough, rugged, and thorny terrains?

My head bows down in eternal debt to those countless Gurus

Who initiated my Aksharabhyasam and led me beyond,

To that realm of knowledge and learning, a never-ending, enigmatic journey?

Even the Ravanas and Duryodhanas who bruise and batter my psyche

Are they not my benefactors, for they bring me closer to YOU?

There are umpteen others - unknown, unseen and nameless

Who shower their benevolence upon me as I plod on in this sojourn on Earth.

True to the dictum, “Deivam Manushya Roopena”

When it is YOU all the way…..

Through those known and familiar, to the innumerable strange benefactors

My very core should weigh down in humility and gratitude.

But why then this arrogance, what for this pride

Why do I seek validation, to what purpose, and from whom

Under what delusion do I dwell when I know all is illusion

I yet reside a tenant, in the vast and dark desert of ignorance

When will this veil of unintelligence and folly, part

To enable me to realize that

Except YOU, the veritable SAT CHIT ANAND

All else is but a mirage?

The Quest continues as I lumber on,

To know “Who Am I”

 

 

*****

 

As I sat in Meditation……

 

Let me be a speckle on the Tilak adorning Your forehead

Or a speck on Your Conch, a dot on Your Disc

Or a grain on Your Trident, a fleck on Your Vel

Even a blotch on the tip of Your nail, a trace on Your twinkling tresses

Let me simply be a particle of dust on Your Lotus Feet

But am I not already one of these -----

An atom that is part of YOU

The Supreme Effulgent, Omniscient, Omnipotent, Omnipresent

Ensconced in the midst of infinite others

Like and Unlike me?

There is no suffocation here, no jostling for space

Yet, why this sense of claustrophobia, of being trapped

O Krishna, O Neela Megha Shyamalan

Let me perceive YOU as ONE who rains only Nectar upon us,

Parched, thirsty souls, hungering for liberation

O Krishna, if all of Creation is in YOU

And YOU in each one of us

Why then do I shroud myself in this dark veil of ignorance

And embroil myself in meaningless mongering

Why do I not see YOU, KRISHNA in my brethren

Let me steer away from this tumultuous territory

And beat retreat to a quiet corner of my intellect

To engage in silence and peel away the many layers

Under which I’ve taken refuge

No matter in which states or levels of consciousness

Let me be my own keeper, Only my custodian

To delve into my core being

To unravel the mysterious self

To attempt to understand that enigmatic and Eternal Quest

“Who am I”

It doesn’t matter by what name I call You O Krishna

O Anatharakshaka Aapathbandava

It’s a desperate cry of deep anguish by a ruminating soul

In this life, to see only YOU, O KRISHNA, in every object

With malice towards none, no hatred, no ego, no vice.